stupidcommentdepository:

*attempts to log into bank account*

To continue answer security question: “Where and how will you die?”

types in “alone in a ditch wearing a clown costume”

*i view my account balance of $4.47*

ostracizedpoodle:

paradisaic:

ostracizedpoodle:

basketballs smell gross 

go to hell??

why are you defending the smell of a ball 

bombing:

[calls a sex hotline] home alone shouldn’t have had a sequel. it should’ve been a one time thing. no i don’t want to talk dirty listen to me. home alone 2 was terrible

u9nu50aubmq8avfsfgyzotdlbniugmaj:

pissvortex:

funnytwittertweets:

mold-child:

baelor:

SCARY MOVIES SET IN HOUSES ARE THE WORST

I LIVE IN A HOUSE

spacefroggity:

Me: I love bees :) they’re very important for the ecosystem and they’re cute and make honey

A bee: buzz

Me, shaking and crying: please don’t hurt me

wagamaggot:

wagamaggot:

aplatonic aromantic asexual polycule

coworkers

cemeterything:

no facebook no instagram no twitch.tv no onlyfans. if you want to see me that bad check the trailcam footage in your local woods.

miscreantbread:

the real reason howl kept his castle moving was tax evasion

ondoinganevildeedblues:

newkidsonmycock31:

ondoinganevildeedblues:

newkidsonmycock31:

straycatj:

わわわわわわわわ

Awwwwwwwww

this cat is butt ugly why is he famous

i hope you adopt a pet chimpanzee and have many years of friendship with him before one day he attacks your face and permanently disfigures you

so that i become butt ugly like this cat?

i hope you end up on liveleak